Divorce is never easy. It’s an emotional and often complex process that affects every aspect of your life—your finances, your relationships, and your future. However, many people make mistakes during their divorce that can impact them for years to come. These mistakes can cost you money, affect your children, and leave you dealing with the long-term consequences of a poor decision.
The good news is that these common divorce mistakes can be avoided. By understanding what can go wrong during divorce and working with an attorney to ensure that you’re making informed decisions, you can protect your rights and achieve a fair outcome. In this article, I’ll discuss four of the most common mistakes I see in divorce and explain how to avoid them.
1. Rushing Through the Divorce Process
One of the biggest mistakes people make during divorce is rushing to get it over with. While it’s natural to want to move on with your life, hurrying through the process can lead to hasty decisions that you might regret later.
Divorce is a significant life event that will impact your future for years to come. It’s important to take the time to consider all the implications of your decisions, especially when it comes to things like child custody, division of assets, and support payments.
Rushing to finalize the divorce means you might miss important details or overlook potential issues. For example, if you settle quickly, you may not fully understand the long-term financial impact of the division of assets, or you may agree to a custody arrangement that isn’t in the best interest of your children.
You’re not just dividing up your belongings; you’re dividing your future. Take the time to think carefully about the outcome and consult with an attorney who can help you navigate this complex process. A divorce settlement can be difficult to undo, so make sure that the terms you agree to are in your best interest.
2. Agreeing to Terms Without Legal Advice
Another common mistake in divorce is agreeing to terms without first consulting with an attorney. Many people make the mistake of thinking they know what’s best for them and their family, so they come to an agreement with their spouse before getting legal advice.
This can be extremely problematic. When you agree to terms without the help of an attorney, you may be agreeing to something that isn’t fair or isn’t legally binding. For example, I’ve had clients tell me that they agreed to give up custody because they had an affair, assuming the court would punish them for it. In reality, the court does not automatically take custody away in such circumstances unless it’s proven that the parent is unfit.
I’ve also seen individuals assume that the court will divide their children’s time equally (50/50), but that’s not always the case. Without an agreement from both parties, the court will decide what’s best for the children, which may not result in a 50/50 division. If you don’t consult with an attorney, you may be walking away from your divorce with a settlement that doesn’t reflect your needs or rights.
Additionally, property and retirement accounts are often subject to division in divorce. Many individuals don’t realize that everything, including savings, retirement plans, and investments, is divisible in divorce. Without the guidance of an attorney, you could be forfeiting assets that should rightfully be yours.
Don’t make the mistake of agreeing to terms without understanding what you’re giving up. Always consult with an attorney before finalizing any agreement. You need to know what’s on the table and what’s at stake.
3. Trying to “Teach a Lesson” or Seek Revenge
Divorce is an emotional process, and it’s common to feel hurt, angry, or betrayed by your spouse. However, it’s essential to keep these emotions in check during the divorce process. One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is using divorce as an opportunity to get back at their spouse or “teach them a lesson.”
Some individuals may try to punish their spouse for things like infidelity or other wrongdoing by fighting over custody or assets. They may hope that the judge or mediator will side with them and “prove” that their spouse was wrong. The truth is, divorce court isn’t the place to settle personal scores, and it rarely works out the way people expect.
The court’s primary focus is on the facts and the law, not on who is “right” or “wrong.” Trying to use the divorce process to get revenge can backfire. It often results in prolonged litigation, increased legal fees, and an unfavorable outcome. Divorce is not about teaching a lesson; it’s about resolving legal issues in a fair and equitable way.
Additionally, seeking revenge can negatively affect your children. If you use the divorce to make your spouse look bad or intentionally disrupt custody arrangements, it can harm the emotional well-being of your children. This is why it’s important to focus on moving forward and finding a resolution that is fair for everyone involved.
Instead of trying to punish your spouse, focus on creating a positive future for yourself and your family. Work with your attorney to reach a fair settlement and make decisions that are in your best interest, not out of anger or spite.
4. Assuming Your Spouse Will Be Honest
Finally, many people make the mistake of assuming that their spouse will still be honest with them during the divorce process. After all, this is the person they’ve spent years with, so why wouldn’t they be truthful now? Unfortunately, in divorce, honesty is not always guaranteed.
Divorce often brings out the worst in people, especially when there are significant assets or custody issues at stake. It’s common for one spouse to hide assets, underreport income, or make false claims about the division of property. If you don’t work with an attorney who knows what to look for, you could easily be taken advantage of.
I’ve had clients tell me that their spouse “forgot” to disclose a bank account or business interest, and it wasn’t until after the divorce was finalized that they discovered it. In some cases, spouses have lied about custody arrangements, falsely claiming that they are the better parent or making false accusations in order to gain an advantage in court.
Always assume that your spouse may not be forthcoming with all the facts. Your attorney can help uncover hidden assets, ensure that both parties disclose everything properly, and help protect your interests. Don’t assume that your spouse will be honest—take the steps necessary to ensure that you’re getting what you’re entitled to.
Consult With an Attorney Early
Divorce is a complex legal process that requires careful consideration and attention to detail. By avoiding these four common mistakes—rushing through the process, agreeing to terms without legal advice, seeking revenge, and assuming honesty from your spouse—you can avoid costly errors and protect your future.
If you’re facing a divorce, it’s important to consult with a family law attorney early on. An attorney can guide you through the process, help you understand your rights, and ensure that you’re making informed decisions. At Bolton Law, we have the dedication to help you navigate your divorce and achieve a fair and reasonable resolution.
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